After-Feeding Bliss

Yesterday was a hard day. I left home early with Andrea, but without eating breakfast, and returned crippled over in hunger pains and a ringing headache. (I have enough experience to know how to avoid this, but somehow I still frequently make the same silly mistake.) I was so weak that making something to eat seemed like a marathon task. All I wanted to do was pull the duvet over my head and disappear into a deep and dark sleep. And then, my baby started crying. I was sick until late afternoon, and all day Scott expressed dissatisfaction with a pathetic whine. It was the hardest day we'd had in a long time, and frustration masked my love until it was the only thing I could feel. 

But last night, after downing his bottle, he lay contentedly in my arms and smiled--a darling, shy smile. Swiftly, that smile cut through my frustration and a deep love seeped in. The house was dark and silent, the paper shaded lamp on my bedside the only glow, and Scott and I were alone. I traced his perfectly shaped eyebrows with my finger, tapped his nose, and grinned admiringly at that bottom lip he likes to suck in. Overcome with soaring emotion, I pulled him closer and whispered this breathy sentiment over and over, "I love you. I love you. I love you...." Then my lips pecked his and my happy tears decorated his cheeks. And with each kiss, that abashed smile was reborn. I wanted that moment to last forever. 

Sometimes the days seem long and motherhood difficult to balance, but moments like these are healing and I wouldn't trade them for the whole word. 

And now a parade of after-feeding photos:

 {Four weeks old}

 

{Seven weeks old}

{Two months old}

{Three months old}